


On the Other Side, Like Always

by cuddleslutloki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Battle Mage Loki, Blow Jobs, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Familiar Thor, Graphic Description, Immortality, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Scars, Self-Harm, Soul Bond, Top Thor (Marvel), Trust Issues, Witch Loki, Witchcraft, Witches, scar kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-06-27 04:27:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15678012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddleslutloki/pseuds/cuddleslutloki
Summary: Loki wants to taste freedom. He doesn't expect that it will burn like static on his tongue, or that he'll love it as much as he does.





	1. The Glenn

Loki knelt in the tall grasses of the glen with a pair of pruning shears in his right hand. The guild ostracised and ridiculed him, but he knew he was better than all of them. They were cowards, too stuck in the past to see that new magics were ready to be explored. Fae folk used magics that humans could scarcely dream of, and Loki was learning to tap into it. He could craft illusions, whisper against consciousness with mind-control, and move a shadow of himself from one place to another without ever leaving his room.

None of them dared to learn these arts, and yet they would still isolate him and taunt him. No matter. Loki knew who he was and what he was capable of. He would go back to the guild hall with some form of familiar and once he was bound he’d be free to leave and find his own path without them holding him back.

The sky above was dark in the wake of the new moon. Tame clouds streaked the sky in gray blue, their wide paths blocking out the stars that watched him.

Tonight was perfect, calm and quiet. Loki would summon and bind his familiar, then his life could begin. It was about time, he was closer to thirty than twenty and all he'd done with his life was study and watch the world change from the windows of the guild hall.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I am Loki Laufeyson, the magic in my blood calls to the spirits of this Earth.”

Before he could hesitate, he clamped down on the handles of the shears with all of his strength, neatly severing the middle finger off his left hand at the bottom knuckle. He didn’t even stop at the crack and splinter of bone. His scream echoed, his blood shooting out hot and fast, black in the night. Tears ran from Loki's eyes as he brought his hand to his chest. Blood ran down his arms and seeped into his shirt with a sickening warmth. The smell assaulted his nostrils and combined with the pain to make his stomach turn and threaten to expel his meagre dinner.

He shut his eyes and breathed through clenched teeth. Even behind his eyelids he saw the flash of light so bright it would have blinded him. Loki clenched his good hand around his left wrist, trying to cut off the flow of blood.

When he opened his eyes, he saw a floating ball of light about ten paces in front of him. Slowly it changed, the form of a man dropping into the grass. His skin rolled with electricity, and Loki was so delirious with pain he started to laugh.

A storm elemental.

The man came to him and knelt down to pick Loki's severed finger up out of the grass. His eyes were glowing white, his blond hair past his shoulders and filled with natural waves.

“A finger is a heavy sacrifice for a mage.” He said, his voice rumbling with thunder overhead.

Loki took a deep breath to steady himself. “I am willing to sacrifice more.”

The white glow in the creature’s eyes shot out a jolt of lightning, Loki's severed finger consumed in electricity before vanishing in a cloud of sparks. The offering was accepted and he found himself smiling.

“What if I want your whole arm?” The creature smiled, his skin alight from within.

Loki let go of his wrist and pulled a freshly sharpened dagger out of his belt. He plunged it into his left shoulder and ripped it downwards, another scream tearing his throat as yet more blood soaked his clothing. He would bleed out before he could amputate his arm, but he would show this creature his mettle.

A large hand grabbed his right, a chuckle reverberating all around in the air, shaking the earth. Loki watched the creature plunge fingers into his flesh, but felt no pain from it. His blood was gathered, then drank. His offerings were worthy.

He was worthy.

“You know what I am, mage?” The man asked, Loki’s blood shining on his lips.

Loki nodded and acutely felt the way his head started swimming from blood loss. “You're a spirit of the storm, ancient, as old as creation.”

“I am, and I accept your offerings. You would have me for your companion?” Waves of lightning rolled over the creatures skin, his veins aglow.

“Yes. Bind us in the way you desire.” Loki lifted his left hand as much as he could, blood still pouring from the spot his middle finger used to occupy. “Take what you will, I offer myself in my entirety.”

The creature cradled his face, smile turning soft. “If you survive, my services are yours. I am yours, and you mine.”

Loki nodded sluggishly. Then pain unlike anything before overtook him.

His vision was filled with white and his body was frozen. He couldn't breathe and he knew his heart didn't beat. Burning agony flooded his body, and Loki could do nothing but wait for whichever end to meet him. Death or the bond.

Then, as suddenly as it began, it ended. He fell onto his side and pulled great, heaving breaths. He wiggled his fingers and toes and gasped, lifting his left hand to see that his middle finger was returned to its place. The wound in his shoulder was closed when he reached for it.

He looked to his new familiar. “I thank you for restoring me. What do I call you?”

“My name is Thor. I'm impressed, you survived easily.” Thor stood and offered a hand that Loki accepted.

He grabbed his dagger from the grass and followed Thor to his feet. Once standing he felt that Thor had done more than simply heal his wounds. All of him felt better, more alert and alive.

“Well, I make it a habit to be stubborn.” Loki said, still breathless.

He took a small step away from Thor and regarded him now that his pain was gone. Thor’s eyes were calm, no longer glowing, but veins were still subtly lit from within. Bursts of light fanned across his skin from his head to his feet. Loki reached out and touched Thor's shoulder, energy from their connection whispering in his mind. He heard thunder and felt like he could float away if he let himself. Interesting.

Not only did Loki summon something incredibly powerful, he was bound to a creature whose beauty equaled his power.

Loki let himself look down and couldn't help his satisfied smirk at Thor's cock. He was certainly well proportioned.

Thor laughed. “Do you want to reinforce our bond already?”

Loki's eyes slid up so he met Thor's. “I'll let you know. For now we should head to the guild hall. Though, don't expect to get used to it just yet, I plan to leave.”

Thor's squinted at him. “Not many mages leave their guild. Can I ask why?”

Loki wasn’t overly prone to sharing his feelings, especially when they hurt, but who would Thor tell?

He looked back toward the East and spotted the tall plume of smoke from the hall’s massive hearth. “I will be more than they would let me be. They stifle me.”

Thor hummed. “You practice magic they don’t approve of?”

Loki nodded. “Among other things.”

He waited just a moment more before starting off, Thor following closely. The trip was only an hour’s walk at most, but Loki would drag it out as much as possible. Insects and night birds sang as they walked and it soothed Loki’s heart to hear them. Wherever he went, he would miss these sounds.

Thor walked behind him at an easy pace, likely observing him and considering their arrangement. Rough winds whipped around them and Loki watched the paths they cut through the tall grasses. A hand at his shoulder stopped him, and he watched Thor step forward to meet the wind.

Storms were more than just rain and lightning. Elementals were also more than just their own elements. That was why they were dangerous and exceedingly rare companions.

The wind turned abruptly and came at them so hard Loki was almost knocked off his feet. He staggered back a step and turned to watch the path the wind took into the forest behind them.

“What the hell was that?” Loki lifted his left hand to run it through his hair, but stopped as soon as his fingers came into view. “Oh shit.”

Thor yanked his wrist over, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. The finger he’d healed had turned a solid, glittering gold. Loki took his hand back and opened the blood-stained rip of his tunic at his shoulder and found the gash there to be the same.

“Skies above.” Thor’s voice was mostly breath. “You’ll want to find a mirror before you see anyone from your guild.”

Loki conjured a small pool of quicksilver and made the surface perfectly flat. It floated up in front of his face and his breath caught.

Wandering paths of gold scarring covered almost his entire neck, and most the lower half of his face. Wherever Thor had touched him during their binding was golden. Loki reached up and touched it and could feel power radiating from it.

Thor came into view behind him. “If you’d trust me for a moment, I’d like to test something.”

Loki met his eyes, then relented with a nod. “Do what you will.”

The dagger at his belt was taken, and Thor gently pulled his left arm up, then deftly flicked the blade to put a thin slice in Loki’s forearm. He gasped, but more as a reflex. The cut didn’t hurt, and as soon as blood could well to the surface there were sparks weaving his flesh back together. His skin was whole and unchanged as though Thor had done nothing.

Loki gaped at himself, then at Thor. “What is this?”

Thor looked equally taken aback, shrugging. “It may be that you’ve taken my power into your being, not as much a bond as a melding, but truly I’ve no idea. I’ve never been bound before.”

“You haven’t? I’m your first?” Loki asked, a vicious pleasure filling him.

Thor handed his dagger back with a slight smile. “No human has ever been willing to make the sacrifice required until you. So I can’t tell if this is normal for me or if it’s…”

“Just me.” Loki finished.

Thor nodded, his eyes tracing over the gold scarring on Loki’s face. The walk would need to take longer if only for Loki to glamour himself.

As they continued the winds still followed them like curious dogs and Loki tried to calm himself with every step. Nervous at returning home, at leaving, at showing them what he’d done. He waited for this day for so long and now he could breathe. Finally.

 ♦

The guild hall was quiet when they arrived, no one around to question the glowing scars Loki hadn’t yet managed to hide. At well past midnight it was to be expected. Loki quickly and quietly guided Thor to his room and suppressed the urge to recoil in ever-present shame.

Thor frowned at his quarters. It was barely more than a closet with a window, just big enough for Loki’s bed, a table with an oil lamp and a chair. Any extra space was filled with books. On and under the furniture, on the low-set shelves that he had to steal and install himself. Anything he had in his room was because he took it and got good enough with his wards to keep others from taking it back.

“This is your room?” Thor’s voice was tinged with disbelief.

“This is why I’m leaving.” Loki grabbed his bag and filled it with his journals. Any of the books he had could be replaced or simply stolen again at a later time.

“Were you born into this guild?” Thor asked.

Loki paused from his nearly-finished packing and turned to Thor, still entirely naked and standing next to his small table.

He sighed. “I’m the guild master’s son.”

Waves of lighting rolled through Thor’s skin, starting in his stomach. “Your father treats you this way?”

Loki gave a tight smile. “Father is a strong word for it. I’ll be gone tomorrow anyway.”

Thor glanced around the room and hummed after a moment. “What do you hope to accomplish in leaving?”

It was an easy question to answer, but Loki wasn’t sure how much honesty his new companion would want in this case. Though, perhaps better to get it out and be done with it.

He faced Thor fully and looked him in the eyes, a soft blue now that there was ample light to illuminate them. “Since you’ll be helping me, I may as well tell you. I’m going to study elsewhere so that I can be strong enough to kill my father and take control of the guild. I’ll burn his legacy to ash and build something greater than anyone who came before me.”

A pleased smile lifted Thor’s face, a surge of light running from his lips to his eyes. “You’re chasing destiny.”

Loki considered it and supposed it true enough. “You’re not appalled that I would commit patricide?”

Thor shrugged. “I’ve killed many fathers, I doubt I have the right to judge.”

Loki actually managed a laugh, a true one. It surprised him and he quickly forced it down. Something was different inside him, something he couldn’t pinpoint. He knew the connection to a companion was said to be the highest form of completion for any human, but he wasn’t sure what that would even entail. The spell, the ritual, all of it was a last-ditch attempt to just leave this place.

It worked, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it now. Accomplished and even proud, certainly, also relieved to be able to leave. But there was the matter of this spirit. Thor didn’t have a body, this was a conjure. Technically Thor lived in his skin and possessed him. Loki stopped thinking about that as soon as the thought crossed his mind.

He took a small step to Thor, closing the meagre distance between them. Static jumped from Thor’s shoulder to his chin.

Loki put his hand on Thor’s shoulder, using his left hand so he could see the contrast of metallic gold against Thor’s skin. “How do you feel after making our bond?”

Thor took a breath and stirred everything in the room when he exhaled, a gentle wind forcing its way through the place at his will. “Good. Different.”

Loki hummed and looked at Thor through his eyelashes. “How did you form our bond? Every bond is made differently, isn’t it?”

Thor nodded and reached up to cover Loki’s hand with his own. His skin was burning hot. “I reached into you with my power and ripped a piece of your soul out, then a piece of mine, and traded them for each other. Honestly, I hadn’t expected you to survive the process.”

Loki squinted at that. “You used soul magic?”

“Of course. All bonds are soul magic, though usually the mage doesn’t give their familiar free reign over how to make it.” Thor chuckled and squeezed his fingers. “You are quite unique in that regard, I think.”

He pulled his hand out of Thor’s grip and let his middle finger chase a wave of light that rolled over Thor’s clavicle. Thor was so quick with praise, so eager. Loki needed to regain control over this.

“My bed is too small, that’s another reason to leave.” Loki leaned closer to Thor and felt more shocks of static reaching for him. “Do you feel the same?”

Thor grabbed his right hand and guided it to his cock, and Loki smiled at feeling it thicken against his fingers. He could use this.

Thor's eyes flashed white and lights burst in his chest. “I'm inclined to agree.”

Loki squeezed Thor's cock, gasping at the sparks that skittered up Thor's skin and over his. “Do you desire me? Surely this isn't simply for want to strengthen the soul magic.”

Thunder rolled outside the hall with Thor's laugh. “Would it make you feel proud of yourself if I were to say yes?”

Loki raised an eyebrow at the tease. He wrapped his fingers around Thor's cock and gave it two strokes.

“I have much to be proud of, Thor. I'll show you, just not here.” Loki rubbed the head of Thor's dick with his fingers, aiming to overstimulate. “When I die some decades from now, you'll flood the Earth because of how you miss me.”

Thor grabbed his sides and Loki felt the pin pricks of sparks washing out over his skin. After a moment and what seemed to be rather concerted effort, Thor grabbed his busy hand.

“Why do you say decades?” Thor asked, his voice thick.

“Well I'm human, Thor, we only live so long.” Loki answered.

Thor shook his head, a smile playing at his lips. “Did you not understand what I showed you in front of that conjured mirror?”

Loki tilted his head and considered the cut in his forearm that healed like the blade had gone through water and not flesh. “You mean to tell me that this healing, our bond, will prolong my life? How long?”

Thor grabbed his left hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each finger. “Centuries probably, I imagine longer. You took my power into you so easily; there was not one second of resistance from you. I ripped off a piece of your soul and it seemed glad to come to me.”

Loki watched Thor press kisses into his skin, tender in their affection. He pulled his hand away gently and set it on Thor’s shoulder again. Control, he had to maintain control.

“Has this ever happened before?” Loki asked.

Thor nodded. “About a dozen times since the beginning.”

“Since the beginning? You mean like the beginning of time?” Loki needed more books, he had to find out more.

“Yes, I've two friends who are in such an arrangement and have been for a few centuries. When you said you wanted to leave, I thought we may go to them.” Thor reached up and traced the golden scars on Loki's face and neck. He licked his lips as he touched them, looking to be enraptured by the makings he left.

Loki filed the observation away and allowed himself to find some small pleasure under Thor's touch. “Where are they?”

“They're bound to a guild master, the hall is past the mountains.” Thor let his hands wander to the buttons of Loki's tunic, undoing each one with care.

“Thor, if you undress me, I won't be able to finish packing.” Loki curled his lips into smirk, he wanted to test this creature, but not here. “The only guild I know of beyond the mountains is Shield.”

Thor nodded and stopped trying to take off Loki's tunic, he'd unbuttoned it enough to push it down Loki's shoulder anyway.

He rubbed the scar on Loki’s left shoulder with gentle fingers. “Yes, that's the one.”

Loki thought about it a moment and knew he wasn't likely to find a better opportunity. “How long have your friends been bound to the guild master?”

Thor couldn't seem to look Loki in the eye, he just traced and re-traced the gold woven into Loki’s flesh. “Three hundred years so far, if memory serves.”

“You and I, we're bound similarly?” Loki asked, his heart speeding up as Thor's words sunk in.

Immortality. Or close to.

Thor nodded. “I'm sure you could still be killed, as I can, but if our bond is the same then you should be ageless and heal like I do.”

Loki grabbed Thor's face and forced their eyes to meet. The creature desired him, clearly, and Loki was more than capable of using that desire. “What a gift you've given me, my beautiful familiar. It's a shame my bed is neither large nor strong enough to support us.”

A low growl vibrated Thor's chest. “I think I could keep from taking down a wall, if you'd allow.”

Loki smiled at Thor's eagerness. Perfect. “Not for our first time. But there is still something we can do here with this standing room.”

Thor smiled, his eyes beginning to glow. “Pray tell.”

Instead of speaking, Loki fell to his knees. Thor's cock was still hard from his teasing and he smiled as he rolled back the foreskin and pressed a kiss to the wet head. Thunder cracked in the sky above them loud enough that Loki knew several people would be woken. He licked precome that leaked from Thor's slit and moaned at the taste on his tongue.

Rain fell heavy outside, and Loki spared a moment to snap his fingers and put out his oil lamp. In the darkness he could see pulses of light spreading out over Thor's skin in waves. Each flash of light was followed by lightning and thunder outside. Loki swallowed Thor's cock down to the hilt and felt trembling of the Earth under his knees.

He stopped and waited for Thor to steady himself. The shaking stopped, and Thor nodded. Loki hummed and set himself to working Thor's cock over with his mouth and left hand. He pushed his tongue against the vein pounding with Thor's heartbeat, and let his hand turn and twist as he moved up and down.

The storm outside grew stronger with each passing moment. Winds howled with Thor's moans. The shaking of his stomach and trembling of his thighs brought blinding lightning that threatened to set them all ablaze. Light danced through Thor's veins and tingled against Loki's skin. He put his right hand on Thor's hip and was pleased when Thor reached down and took it in his own.

Of all entities to give himself to, to bind himself to, he found one so perfectly suited to his needs. Thor desired him and above all could give him more than enough power to do everything he wanted, and things he never thought he’d live long enough to do.

Loki felt Thor grow harder and harder on his tongue, lightning flying out in long arcs that struck at everything in the room. He could tell Thor was close, so he pulled back until just Thor's head was in his mouth and sucked hard while moaning around it.

Thor’s body flashed pure white from head to toe and when he groaned a deafening clap of thunder threatened to shake the glass from the windows. Loki drank down Thor's spend with greed. With each swallow Thor's cock softened. A gentle hand tangled into his hair, pulling him up to his feet once there was no more cum for him to swallow.

Loki grinned against Thor’s mouth, his lips burning and swollen as Thor panted against his face. To reduce such a powerful being, to bring him to completion, Loki was almost impressed with himself. His own cock was throbbing in his trousers. Thor reached down and kneaded it with his thick fingers. Such a hungry beast.

“How can I return that favor?” Thor asked.

Loki hummed and pressed a kiss to Thor’s lips, it was eagerly returned. “I had another thought, you’ll enjoy it.”

Thor pulled the laces of his trousers open and shoved them down his hips. “Well, I did like your last thought.”

Loki laughed and shook his head. What a powerful fool he’d summoned. “You’ve had two offerings tonight. Can I make another, even if we’re already bound?”

There was an audible click as Thor swallowed, and lights danced in his throat and stomach. “You impressed me in the glen, I’ll be glad to have another offering.”

Loki took himself in hand, then guided one of Thor’s to rest just in front of the head of his cock with the palm up. “I don’t think I’ll last long, truthfully, but I’d give you this.”

He stroked himself quickly, grip light on his dry skin. It was too quick, barely even a minute before he was splashing cum against Thor’s hand. Once he was done he watched Thor bring it to his mouth and lick it clean. The light in Thor’s skin turned red, then gold to match Loki’s scars and finger, then back to white. Loki felt something deep inside him expanding, a lightness to his heart that he’d never known before.

He realized after a beat that he was feeling Thor’s soul accept his offering from within his own body. Interesting.

They stood for a moment more as the storm outside finally began to calm. Loki leaned his forehead against Thor’s shoulder.

“I have to sleep before we leave, and I’ll need to speak with the guild master. Stay hidden until I wake, and make yourself some clothing if you can. We can’t have you wandering around in the nude.” Loki pulled away and moved his bags to the floor. He’d finish packing before breakfast.

Thor stretched. “Are you worried we’ll find trouble if I’m naked?”

Loki tossed his ruined tunic onto the floor and kicked his trousers and small clothes off. He allowed a smile to his face, the curve of it veering toward wickedness. “No, I’m just very possessive. You’re mine, and I don’t want others to have the pleasure of seeing that beautiful cock of yours.”

Thor chuckled and inclined his head with a smile.

Loki fell asleep almost immediately after his head hit the pillow.


	2. Shield

The morning went too fast for his liking. His bags were packed and his breakfast eaten in less than an hour. Thor was a presence tickling the back of his mind and making his scars feel warmer than the rest of his skin. Loki gathered himself in front of another mirror to craft the glamour that would keep him hidden until he was ready to reveal what he’d done, then set off with his bag slung over his shoulder.

No one looked at him as he walked through the hall. He was invisible to them and he could feel Thor’s anger over it. It gave him the extra strength he needed to shove the doors of the guild master’s chambers open without hesitating or knocking.

Laufey raised his head from the book on his desk, his eyes immediately narrowing in disgust. “You? What do you want?”

Loki grit his teeth against the trembling of his hands and walked right up to his father's desk. “I'm leaving, Laufey.”

The response was the same cruel laugh Loki could remember in all of his earliest memories. “Oh? Giving up, are you?”

Loki shook his head. “No, I've finished our last rite of passage, and according to the bylaws I'm free to leave without consequence. Unless you'd defy the rules created by your great-great-grandfather.”

Laufey stood and looked down at Loki with his considerable height. “You have no familiar.”

“Thor,” Loki beckoned, “show yourself.”

With a small gust of wind Thor appeared at Loki's side. He was wearing a simple red tunic and black linen trousers.

Laufey scoffed and sat back down. “This is false. It's more of your false fae magic, coming from a scared little boy with false blood.”

Thor's jaw worked as he looked at Loki. All it would take was a few errant words and Thor would likely kill Laufey for him. But no. Not yet.

Loki pursed his lips and gave a short nod. “You know, Laufey, you're right. There is something false here. I'll remove the fae magic.”

Laufey’s lips curled into a self-satisfied grin. “I thought so.”

Loki dropped the glamour hiding his scars and watched with delight as his father's face twisted in disbelief.

“Last night I walked an hour West and cut off the finger you used to break to punish me,” Loki held up his left hand, the middle finger shining and golden, “and I was answered by an elemental. We're bound, so I'm leaving and I will never have to see you again.”

Laufey stood so abruptly his chair fell, he pulled his hand back with a curse on his fingertips. No sooner did the curse form than was Thor's hand wrapped around Laufey's throat. He sent shocks up Laufey's neck, causing him to spasm.

Loki watched the suffering of his father with pleasure, then spoke. “Drop him, Thor. We're leaving.”

Thor gave Laufey a final shock, one that burned his skin and would leave scars vastly different from Loki's own. Then he dropped Laufey on the table and followed Loki out. The guild members all stared, they sneered, they spit at and on him, but no one raised a single curse at his exit or tried to stop him.

Tears burned at Loki's eyes as he and Thor walked the path to the southern mountains.

He was free.

 ♦

Three hours of walking and the mountains looked just as far away as they had at the start. Loki stopped in the path and put his hands on his hips.

Thor stood at his left and looked toward the mountain tops cutting at the sky. “It's a long journey. Weeks by foot, the way humans travel.”

Loki's brow furrowed and he looked at Thor. “What about the way your kind travels?”

Thor smiled and wrapped an arm around his waist, then a great battle axe formed in his free hand and as soon as Loki opened his mouth to question it they were on the other side of the mountain. The greenery beneath their feet was burned with a wide runic circle marked by their passage. Loki could see a town a short distance away, the hall for the Shield guild at the center.

“Why didn't you just do that to begin with?” Loki asked, pulling away from Thor's arm.

Thor shrugged and let his axe fade back to its resting place. “You didn't ask. I figured you wanted to walk and clear your head.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Unbelievable.”

Thor laughed, though it was gentle and not at all unkind. “Which part?”

“Most of this. Especially the bit last night where you couldn't stop touching my scars like some crude beast who needs to see that his territory is marked.” Loki smirked and cocked a hip as he stood.

Thor answered his smile in kind and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, how about the part where you made an offering to a companion already bound like some desperate fledgling witch who wants to prove that he can satisfy?”

Loki laughed and poked at Thor’s chest with two fingers. “The more we talk the more I think I’m going to like you.”

Thor grabbed his arm and kissed Loki's wrist with a smile. “That's good, because the bond is rather permanent.”

Loki swallowed at the gentle touch and pulled his hand back quickly, then turned toward the town. “Let's go.”

The town was bustling, already a change of pace from the hall and scant dozen surrounding houses that Loki had grown up with. He put the glamour back up before any could see him. A few people looked at them, but no one showed anything more than passing curiosity. Seen, but not remarked upon.

That was the biggest and most welcome difference, Loki found.

The doors to the guild hall were twice his height and one was open for any to enter. Calling it a hall felt almost absurd, as the building was so large it could more accurately be described as a castle. There were no armed guards, but Loki could sense very strong protective magics in the very stone that built the place. Loki observed the emblem carved into the doors, the symbol of the shield after which the guild named itself. A great eagle with spread wings. It was altogether different than the crossed blades of his birth guild.

He looked to Thor, who nodded and let his physical form dissolve away in sparks.

Loki stepped into the hall and had to contain his shock at the scene inside. The main portion of the front hall wasn't a reception area, but the guild library. Dozens of people were gathered around tables and chairs studying and working. There were three levels filled floor the ceiling with books. It wasn't silent by any means, but the chatter was easy and comfortable.

“Can I help you?” A woman's voice from his right caught his attention.

Loki turned and regarded her. She had dark brown hair and deeper brown eyes. Her jaw was strong and Loki knew at once she had to be the guild master from looking at the wards dancing beneath her skin.

He offered a shallow bow. “I've graduated from my birth guild and wanted to inquire about joining yours, Master.”

She smiled at him and offered a hand that he readily took. “You've a good eye to tell who I am that quickly. I'm Margaret, but you can call me Peggy. Most everyone does.”

Loki offered his best jovial smile at the compliment. “Thank you. I'm Loki,” he hesitated a moment, “Loki Laufeyson.”

Peggy's eyes widened. “I've heard about you.”

Loki swallowed against his discomfort. “You have?”

“Yes, I've sent letters to your guild, but never received a response. I'd like to know how you've tapped into fae magic. No one else who's tried has succeeded. People have studied for centuries, but you actually did it.” She put her hands on her hips, her shoulders back.

The whole line of her body was at such ease. Loki wondered if he’d ever stood like that in his entire life.

“Oh, I'd be glad to give demonstrations. Apologies, but I had no idea you ever sent correspondence.” Loki felt Thor's spirit reach to him like a hand sliding up his back.

His rage still spiked. The list of things his father sought to steal from him kept growing even now.

Peggy gave a crooked smile. “I've met Laufey, so that's not surprising. Please, come with me, we should speak privately.”

She motioned him to follow and led him past the main library, and through a courtyard in the center of the first building. The trees were barely his height, so Loki knew at once that the garden was new and that he wanted immediately to claim a plot if given the chance.

Peggy opened a door at the back of the courtyard with an errant wave of her hand and closed it with the same motion once Loki was inside. Her private office was four times bigger than his old room, but just as filled with books as his small space had been. She also had weapons on her walls, some were normal and others were clearly magicked. He wanted to look at each and every one, to dissect the spells and recreate them.

She indicated a chair for him to sit in, and sat directly across from him. There was a small table between them with scattered papers. Loki set his bag on the floor and tried not to let his mind run wild with the possibilities of this place.

“If I might ask, please remove your glamour.” Peggy crossed her legs at the ankles as she sat.

Loki flashed a brief smile and obliged. He felt warmth encompass him around his shoulders. The embrace was tight, two large arms holding him as he revealed himself. Thor.

Peggy leaned forward, her eyes narrowed at the scars on his face and neck. “Lightning? Your birth guild requires the binding of a familiar before one can leave, does it not?”

Loki nodded, then turned his head to the empty space next to him. Thor's form took shape quickly, his hand on Loki's shoulder.

“Thor!” An unfamiliar voice filled the room, then Loki saw two men step into existence through waves of heat and mist and run toward Thor with bright eyes and wide smiles.

They were both nearly of height with Thor, one with short blond hair and the other with long dark hair, both of them with blue eyes. The brown-haired spirit was missing his left arm, living ice taking its place where he was materializing one for himself with his own elemental power.

Loki looked at Peggy and she offered him a smile.

Thor exchanged hugs with the men Loki guessed to be Peggy's companions. They laughed together and clapped each other's shoulders.

Thor turned to Loki and gestured to the spirits. “Loki, this is Steve and his mate Bucky. They're the friends I mentioned before.”

Steve nodded to Loki as a greeting, “pleased to meet you, Loki,” then he looked to Thor, “where the hell have you been, _your majesty_?”

Loki tilted his head and raised a finger in question. “Thor?”

Bucky looked between them, then settled his eyes on Thor. “Oh, come on, you didn't tell him who you are?”

Thor sighed and spread his hands out in a pleading gesture as he turned to face Loki. “Forgive me, I didn't think it was important.”

Loki scoffed. “Excuse me?”

Thor rubbed the back of his neck, light bursting across his forearms and dancing around his jaw. “Well, since it’s been brought up, my father is Odin, the Allfather and king ruling nature and her spirits.”

“Which makes you _Prince_ Thor, future king over nature and all her spirits.” Loki replied, tone as dry as he could manage. “That should have been mentioned, perhaps after I cut off my middle finger, don't you think?”

Loki held up the middle finger in question.

Bucky and Steve both laughed, and Bucky pointed at Loki. “Oh, I like him.”

Peggy cleared her throat and brought the room’s attention back to herself. “Loki, I accept your request for admittance to the guild. Welcome to Shield.”

 ♦

The first week went by in too-little time. He was given a room, and though Peggy offered apologies and called it meagre, it was still almost thrice the size of the one he just left. His journals didn’t even fill one section of his new bookshelf. Thor was glad to be reunited with his friends, and Loki was pleased to learn more about the spirit bound to his soul. Especially now that he knew just who had accepted his offerings.

Loki slept soundly each night, and buried himself in books and practice. Peggy was overriding most guild procedure for him. He was grateful for it, not only because he would have gone mad if he’d had to start as a novice for this guild, but also because his bond with Thor set him apart in a way that only she could understand.

She was cunning, but kind, and Loki was grateful to be making her a friend after a lifetime of being surrounded by small-minded half-wits too afraid of their own power to make proper use of it. Peggy had no such reservations.

When she began showing him how to access his bond with Thor, she did so by setting an effigy on fire with Steve’s power flowing into her veins. She then put it out by using Bucky’s connection to water. Loki tried to access the lightning that glowed from under his skin, but couldn’t manage it.

Peggy sensed his frustration, but never said anything. He was grateful for that, as well.

Thor laid in the bed watched him pacing across the floor of his room. “You’ll wear a hole into the floor if you keep at this.”

Loki glanced at him and frowned. “I don’t understand it. I can feel you always, but I can’t even summon the shock one would get from a blanket in the night.”

Thor smiled at him fondly. “Well, you had a good run, didn’t you?”

Loki stopped and looked at him, one brow raised. “I beg your pardon?”

“You spent your entire life surrounded by mages lesser than you in skill, wit, and intelligence, so you excelled at everything from the very beginning. But you and I are equals. You’ve never been truly challenged in your entire life until now. You had a good run, Loki.” Thor’s smile was too amused for the situation.

“I’m not above stabbing you.” Loki materialized his favorite dagger into his hand for emphasis.

Thor laughed and got up out of bed, taking the dagger from Loki’s hand and tossing it onto the desk that Loki had quickly covered in papers and borrowed books.

He grabbed Loki’s hips and leaned close, eyes always drifting to the glow of gold spidering across Loki’s jaw. “Perhaps we should try strengthening the bond.”

Loki found himself relaxing into Thor’s touch, as much as he tried to resist the easy control Thor had over him. “What do you suggest?”

Thor grinned in a way that Loki might’ve called mischievous. “The traditional way, I think.”

Warmth spread up Loki’s back and made his skin tingle. He slid his hands up Thor’s chest, feeling the muscle beneath the fabric of his conjured tunic. “Well, if nothing else it may relieve some of my frustration.”

Thor laughed and hoisted him off the ground, earning a gasp for his effort. What Thor had said was correct, they were equals. Loki knew himself and what he could do, if only he could break the block that held him back. Though he and Thor were bound, there was still something in the way. Perhaps someone did curse him as he was leaving home.

He came back to the present when Thor laid him on the mattress. The bed was soft and yet to be broken in, despite the ample time they’d had since arriving. Loki fell into his old habits and had poured himself so completely into study that half the time he fell asleep slumped over a journal and only woke up in bed because Thor had put him there.

There was a gentleness that Loki hadn't expected, and wasn’t sure what to do with. Nothing in his life had been easy or soft. When Thor was summoned he'd come with fury and the greed of a spirit who delighted in blood. Now, with their souls eternally connected, with Thor's power marking him visibly, Loki felt only the softest warmth. Like the feeling of a summer wind sweeping him up and holding him aloft with the promise that he would never have need to touch the earth again. He couldn’t bring himself to explore that feeling or even go near where it rested. It was too deep, too much. While he was glad to be free, he never considered the cost.

Thor hovered over him in the bed, his hands rubbing up and down Loki's sides. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to the center of the golden scar that covered the right side of Loki's jaw. The contact made Loki gasp, it felt like something in his chest came loose and unlocked with it. This was the sweeping feeling he’d come to recognize, when Thor’s soul inside him was awakened and the connection was active. His cock went from half hard to fully in a few panting breaths and he felt more than just his own need, but Thor's as well.

Loki tangled a hand into Thor's hair and pulled on it. “Do you want to be inside me, prince?”

Thor licked across the scar he'd just kissed, but made no further moves. “You’re not going to drop that any time soon, are you?”

Loki hummed and pulled Thor's hair again, this time drawing him up so they could look each other in the eyes. Thor’s gaze darkened at seeing Loki's expression.

“No, I won't, because I deserve no less than a prince for the offerings that brought you to me.” Loki surged up and kissed Thor, sucking on Thor's tongue and feeling the tickle of sparks at Thor’s fingertips.

Thor growled and broke the kiss. “That you do. I fought to get to you. Did you know that?”

Loki shook his head.

Thor grinned at his triumph. “Time passes differently for us. I know it must've seemed only seconds until I was before you, but I killed a dozen spirits who sought their right to your soul. You gave such a heavy sacrifice as your offering, and I knew I had to have you.”

Loki moaned, hope and joy alight with the knowledge that Thor had already killed for him. Thor had chosen him and then fought for him before they’d even met. He pulled Thor’s head back down and offered his neck, which Thor was more than happy to lavish with attention. Sharp teeth dug into the meat of him and worked a mark into his skin beside his scars. Lights danced on across the walls and Loki spared a second to wave his hand and extinguish the oil lamps so that the only light in the room could be Thor.

“Get your clothes off.” Loki pulled at the edge of Thor’s tunic, and then all of Thor’s clothing was gone the same instant.

Thor tugged at his trousers. “And you.”

Loki quickly accessed the proper spell and sent his garments to the floor. “And me.”

Thor chuckled. “You have so many useful spells.”

A grin curled Loki’s lips as he traced a glowing vein in Thor’s arm with an idle finger. “I have even another, one you’ll enjoy more.”

A low growl in Thor’s chest was met with thunder outside, and Loki couldn’t help his pleasure at knowing that everyone would hear what he was doing to Thor. With a quick thought and flick of his fingers through the air he was stretched and slick. He guided Thor’s hand down to feel, and moaned when three thick fingers slid into him easily.

Light rolled up Thor’s skin in waves, bursting in his chest with every breath. He grabbed Loki roughly and hauled him up. Loki wrapped his legs around Thor’s hips and smiled at the flash of lighting that illuminated the world outside as bright as midday. The heat of Thor’s cock was pressing against him and he licked his lips in a wicked show.

Thor claimed his mouth and held him tight, nearly crushing him. He couldn’t breathe as Thor slid into him in one smooth motion. It was perfect and he hadn’t stretched enough and oh gods there was _more_ of him just going in and in and in. Loki whimpered when Thor bottomed out and felt heat rolling up his spine. A shudder wracked his body as Thor held him tight.

Kisses were pressed into his skin anywhere Thor could reach. Over his scars, his jaw, brief kisses to his lips, then up to his cheeks and his eyelids. Loki sighed and leaned into every one.

His throat clicked as he swallowed and rolled his hips. “Move, Thor.”

Thor nipped at his neck and held his hips tight enough to bruise as he started fucking Loki in earnest. Every thrust made Loki melt further and further. His body went pliant, pleasure seizing his system. Prespend leaked from his cock between them. He had no doubt he could cum just like this. He held on to Thor's shoulders and felt the warmth of Thor’s spirit expanding inside him, overtaking him. There was nothing like this that he’d ever known before.

“Do you feel me?” Thor asked.

Loki gasped but said nothing. Thor's power was flowing into him, their souls joining again. Whispers filled his mind, memories flooding to the surface that were out of his control. It was too much, Thor would see too much.

“Stop, stop!” Loki pushed at Thor's shoulders and was released immediately.

Thor looked at him with furrowed brows and a soft frown. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, I just can't do this right now.” Loki summoned his clothing again and pulled as far away from Thor add he could on the small bed, off in the corner toward the headboard.

Thor closed his eyes and summoned his own clothing after a moment. He sat on his heels and clasped his hands in his lap. “If I did something wrong—”

“It's not you, so drop it.” Loki snapped at Thor, ready for the fight that was starting.

Thor looked at him, really looked him, then his eyes widened. “Is this another reason you left your guild?”

Ice plunged through Loki's heart, and tears came to his eyes. “Don't ask questions you don't want answered.”

Lightning struck the ground outside and the light under Thor's skin was flashing in rapid patterns up his arms.

“If someone there hurt you, I'll kill them.” Thor's voice was deep, a growl inside his chest like a beast.

Loki stared at him a moment, then looked off toward his shelves slowly filling with books. “We're not discussing this.”

Thor said nothing. He took a few breaths and the lights inside him calmed, then he moved to sit beside Loki, far enough that they weren’t touching. “Tell me about your favorite book.”

Loki pointed to a volume the second highest shelf, all the way to the right. “That green one. It's all theories about fae magic and how it might work. We had a similar book at my old guild, but that one is much more complete, and better researched. I've been able to write six new spells just in the last week. There’s a book I’ve heard of similar to it, but much older. I’d kill to get it.”

Thor brushed the back of Loki's hand, then pulled away. “I'd be happy to hear more about your magic, if you're willing.”

Loki took a deep breath to calm his heart as it began to beat faster. He couldn't understand what Thor's goal was in all this and it made him uneasy. What did Thor hope to gain from him?

“It might be a long conversation.” Loki whispered.

“I don't sleep, talk as long as you like.” Thor's voice held a smile, and there were lights fluttering across the knuckles that had touched Loki’s hand.

Loki brought his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees. When his left hand raised up he paused and looked at the scar. It had grown, tendrils reaching out that traced over his own veins. Without looking he knew the scars on his jaw would have to be the same. A side-effect of their bond growing deeper, surely.

He pulled himself out of his head and spoke at length about theory, practice, about everything he could remember about the magic he loved. Thor listened graciously and even offered insight where Loki's knowledge was lacking.

When the sun came up Loki barely noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like how the story is progressing ;] also let's assume steve and bucky are nicknames and not their actual names, i just couldn't be bothered to rename them. but lbr there is something a little hilarious about timeless elementals named steve and bucky


	3. Union

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heavy things referenced in this chapter, but nothing is described. excuse any typos, let me know if you're enjoying the fic ;)

They didn't mention that night again for the next six months. Loki was rapidly progressing with his own magic, but Thor's was always out of reach. Peggy didn’t say anything about it and she didn’t push him during training. He found himself glad for her companionship. They’d started to become friends, his own rank not yet decided but definitely higher up than normal for a new member.

She passed him a piece of bread with herbed goat cheese that he took with gratitude. The sun was shining down on them as they watched their companions spar. It was fascinating to see the way they used their power. Steve would throw discs of fire out, knocking Thor back, and Bucky would shoot icy projectiles at his prone form. In turn, Thor would grab them with lightning and almost always subdue them. Dozens of matches had occured in the last few months, and Thor had only lost three. Loki allowed himself pride to have Thor as his familiar, even if he wasn’t sure what to make of him.

“So,” Peggy started, voice strained in a way he recognized too well, “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but can I just give my insight and you’ll do with it what you like?”

Loki took a drink of tea and nodded. “Your judgment is usually sound.”

“Usually?” She said, amusement in her voice.

“Well, I wouldn’t count fucking both of your companions the night before another guild representative was coming to visit as a good idea. Though you covered well for the destruction of the south spire.” Loki watched Thor call his favorite weapon, Mjolnir, and smiled because the match was soon to end.

Peggy scoffed. “That was a good night, it’s not my fault they can’t hold back. But I have noticed that aside from that first week, we haven’t seen Thor’s power spike like that.”

Loki didn’t say anything, he just hummed and filled his mouth with fruit.

With a gentle sigh, Peggy started again. “I’m not sure why you don’t trust him now, but that’s why you can’t access his power. Your bond is very strong, it’s comparable to the bond I have with Steve and Bucky, but the difference is that I trust those two completely. You won’t let Thor in, and he’s respecting that, but you won’t be able to summon any of his power unless you actually allow him to know you.”

“That’s not an option.” Loki said, his voice as devoid of emotion as he could manage.

“He chose you, he told them about it, and they told me. He killed his own kind for you. Do you know how often I hear that?” She asked.

Loki shrugged and kept his eyes trained on Thor’s swift movements between the other spirits.

“I’ve never heard of an elemental killing their own, let alone to bond with a witch. Thor wanted to lay a claim on you that would never be forgotten, and now that you may never die, he has. What have you given him, what have you shown him in return?” Peggy’s voice was soft even as her words were sharp and cutting into him.

Loki cleared his throat. “I thank you for your candor. I’ll think about what you’ve said, Margaret.”

She rubbed his shoulder and grabbed a bottle of wine from their picnic basket. “Good. Now help me finish this before I have to meet that oaf Stark for dinner.”

Loki laughed and summoned glasses for them. The match ended when Thor knocked Steve back into a tree, which was felled by the forced of the blow. Steve’s form dissipated, then reformed on the field, his arms up. Victory made Thor glow, and Loki let himself open a bit to feel the euphoric joy that showed on Thor’s face.

Their eyes met, and Thor tilted his head, able to feel that Loki was opening to him. Loki looked away and shamefully closed himself back off as Peggy refilled his glass.

 ♦

Peggy’s words wouldn’t leave him alone. What had Loki done for Thor? What had Loki shown him since the act of devotion that brought them together? Of course Loki’s own sacrifice was heavy, but that wouldn’t carry him forever. Sooner or later he’d have to face what he’d done. How could he live with this?

Thor was sat in a chair beside Loki’s desk looking over a sheet of paper covered in charcoal, scrawled with the lines from the bridge Thor had used all those months ago to take them beyond the mountain. His eyes wandered over each path and rune.

“This is a perfect recreation, Loki. It’s amazing that you remember it so well.” Thor smiled at the paper, eyes still searching it.

“Why are you with me?” Loki asked, uncaring that there was no warning or context for his question.

Thor set the paper down and frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

Loki looked off toward his shelves and thought about his question, about how to word it to get what he wanted. “Why did you respond to my sacrifice?”

A low hum filled Thor’s chest, lights under his skin shining through the thin fabric of the tunic he’d conjured for himself. “I’m not interested in being king. I want something else.”

“What else could you possibly want? You’d practically be the king of the world. How can I weigh against that?” Loki crossed his arms over his chest and leaned away from Thor in his chair.

Thor frowned at him. “There is no treasure more valuable than a human soul. Even my father has been companion to a witch. What you showed with your offering was determination, not just desire. No one sacrifices that much who is not willing to meet their destiny head-on. It was such a sweet sacrament, I couldn’t ignore you.”

Loki pulled his left hand out and look at the golden skin. The scar had expanded since it originally formed, tendrils twisting out of it like lightning, the same as the scars on his neck and shoulder. Every time he’d opened himself even slightly the scars would grow.

“What do you want with me now, then?” He asked, not looking up to meet Thor’s eye.

“With you? I don’t suppose I have a plan, necessarily. You piqued my curiosity, and I’d like to see where you go. As I said, my services are yours.” Thor’s voice held a smile at the end, so warm like he always was. Perhaps he didn’t know any other way to be.

Loki swallowed against the heavy knot of worry building in his stomach. “I see. Does it bother you that I can’t use your power?”

Thor shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. “Well, I have wondered what I did to make you shut me out.”

Loki looked at Thor then, taking in the softness of his eyes, the sadness. “If I open myself to you that way then you could see everything. All of my memories, you’ll have access to my thoughts. You won’t want that I am so—”

Loki stopped himself before he could finish. Before he could repeat the words his brother had spat at him on so many nights. He crossed his legs and wrapped his arms around himself.

Thor leaned forward, keeping eye contact. “You’re what?”

Loki let out a bitter laugh. “Do you really want to see?”

Maybe if he showed Thor he could end this tension that followed him at every moment. Thor would see him and find a way to break their bond. Permanent or not, Thor was basically a god, he could do anything. Loki could be freed again of yet another ill-advised decision born of desperation.

Thor nodded, a slight frown pulling his lips. “I want to know you, Loki. I chose you for a reason.”

Thor offered his hand and Loki took it with his left. The scar burned with the contact and he could feel Thor’s spirit seeking him from within and without. There would be no undoing this. Thor would know. Thor would see.

Loki opened the connection with the same strength he’d used to clamp the shears down onto his own flesh.

Thor’s eyes went white, and Loki let himself slip into a trance as Thor’s form dissipated and his body was taken. The feeling of having two spirits in his skin didn’t hurt the way he imagined it would. There was no pain at all, just a feeling of fullness and completion. He felt warmth where Thor’s spirit wrapped around his soul and dove into his consciousness.

Then Thor began rifling through his memories and Loki had to use all of his strength to let it happen. His earliest memories, foggy with age, every instance when his father broke his finger. Every insult and insinuation of his filth and lack of worth. The accusations that he killed his mother by being born. When the nursemaid who saved his life was executed for a false charge. The only woman who’d ever loved him and the only person to show him kindness and his father took her away. Made him watch her die.

Helbindi’s face haunted him. Helbindi’s body haunted him. Thor’s warmth turned to a searing rage.

Loki was ripped out of his trance as Thor fled from inside him, reforming as the Earth shook beneath their feet. He stood and braced himself on his desk. Books fell from their shelves, and outside their room Loki could hear the crashing of furniture and shattering of glass and pottery. Lightning was arcing from Thor’s body, scorching the walls and floor, running up to the ceiling. Thunder ripped across the sky outside and was nearly deafening.

“You see what a poor decision you’ve made, now.” Loki kept his head high, ready to face the consequences of his actions. He’d survived worse.

Thor stalked up to him, bearing down and radiating rage. Underneath his skin his light had turned a deep, bloody red. The shaking of the Earth ceased and Thor grabbed his left hand. Rain began to pour as the lightning and thunder continued unending.

“Your father doesn’t deserve the kindness of death. I know a way to keep him alive, undying, and he can suffer until the end of the world for his crimes.” Thor’s voice was inhuman, four speaking at once, a rumble underneath, the red fading as his skin began to glow pure white.

Loki gaped and tried to pull his hand back but Thor wouldn’t release him. “What?”

Thor cupped the side of his face. “I understand why you didn’t let me in, but this only tells me what I already knew. You have a strength worthy of me.”

He pulled harder and Thor released him then, looking at him with pride, their emotions were shared now and Loki couldn’t shut the connection down. This was out of his control. Thor moved forward and Loki threw his hand up, gasping as lightning shot out from his hand and shoved Thor back into the bookshelves. The shelves collapsed and clattered to the floor, but Loki could only stare at his own skin.

The scars on his hand were growing before his eyes, their winding paths giving off their own light. He ran to the mirror mounted on the wall above his washing basin and felt his lungs burn as his breath caught. Where before the scars from his neck stopped at his jaw and didn’t go past the apple of his throat, they had grown to touch his eyes and collarbone. With trembling fingers Loki reached up and traced their paths. Thor appeared behind him, a small smile on his lips. His love was overwhelming.

“Please go.” Loki said, forcing his voice to be steady.

Thor nodded. “Call for me when you’re ready.”

“Don’t do anything to them. They’re mine, you hear me? I will never forgive you if you go after them.” Loki turned and stared Thor down, but he knew it wasn’t necessary.

Thor inclined his head. “Of course.”

When Thor’s form disappeared Loki felt his absence keenly, even with the piece of Thor’s own spirit living inside him.

Loki sat on his bed and just stared at the mess of books littering his floor. The storm still raged outside and Loki wondered how big it was, how much land it covered. Could they see it back home?

He ran a hand over his face and sighed. That was something he’d never counted on, that Thor would see what he was and want him even more.

With just a thought Loki summoned lightning to dance over his knuckles. As much as Thor had seen him, Loki could see in kind. He closed his eyes and sifted through Thor’s thoughts, through the memories that replayed with such clarity it hardly seemed real.

Then he saw himself and stopped. His heart skipped a beat. Thor’s thoughts when he saw Loki were simple. Too simple.

_Worthy_

Thor didn’t want anything from him. Truly. Loki was not a thing to be used. He was just… worthy.

A laugh burst from him, startled and disbelieving, then turning to something joyous. He could kill them all. His father, his brother, everyone who helped make his life miserable. They would all die at his hand and he could rebuild everything, remake it into something so glorious none would remember a time before it.

The guild would be his.

 ♦

Peggy knew at once that something was different and she smiled at him in a conspiratorial way. She didn’t ask about Thor’s absence. It wasn’t important now that he could access Thor’s power as his own.

“So,” Peggy began, her smile wicked around the edge of her cup, “I wanted to ask you something.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“There are people who don’t want me to ask, but I’m going to anyway because I’m the guild master and I can.” She finished her tea and set her cup down. “I don’t know what you plan with your birth guild, but I would like you to be a permanent council member here. Your voice would have weight, your opinions will matter. The magic you do is something no one else alive is doing, that alone is grounds to give you a true rank.”

Loki smiled and took a drink of his own tea to allow for a pause. “Thank you, Margaret. I don’t believe that I could refuse without being rude, could I?”

Peggy gave a sharp grin. “No.”

He laughed softly. “Then I accept. To hell with the naysayers.”

“Oh, we need wine for a toast like that. Save it for dinner.” She leaned back in her chair and regarded him. “So what are you plans for your birth guild?”

“Who says I have plans?” Loki replied.

Peggy raised an eyebrow, her lips a flat line. “Three weeks after you first arrived I watched you perform the same spell thirty-seven times in a row until you got it right, then almost twenty more times after that while you made sure you could do it again. I won’t even try to guess at what your home life was like, but I know you’re going back. If you need help, just ask.”

Loki couldn’t look her in the eye, but he offered a nod. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good. Now let’s get going, I have a class to teach and you’re not getting out of helping me this time.” Peggy stood abruptly and walked with her usual soldier’s cadence out of her office.

Loki pushed himself up and followed, forcing his mind to be quiet.

 ♦

Weeks passed before Loki could even think about calling Thor back. He’d noticed gifts left behind during the day when he was out. Gems, flowers, and seeds usually. They were all from different seasons, imprinted with magic from parts of the world Loki hadn’t even known existed. Thor was giving him the entire world through offerings that could be held in the palm of his hand, piece by piece.

But this was something else entirely. The old book was worn, the leather rotting and pages chipping away at the edges. Inside the pages were in better condition, the ink still mostly pristine and the words crisp. Loki didn’t even want to breathe on it. This was the book. The one he’d told Thor about the night they first tried to complete the connection. His heart began to race. Living history, a resource no other witch could ever hope to have.

“Thor, come here.” Loki ran his fingers along the words with a reverence he scarcely knew he possessed. A restoration spell, he needed to make one.

“I’d hoped this might be the one that made you call.” Thor’s voice was deep and golden, rich in a way that filled the room even when he was quiet.

Loki set the book down on his desk and turned to Thor, seeing the familiar red tunic and black trousers. His hair was loose around his shoulders, braids worked into the lengths.

“Where did you find it?” Loki asked.

Thor smiled. “In a temple across the world, buried from a landslide.”

Loki stepped forward and cupped Thor’s face in his hands. The connection snapped alive at the touch and filled Loki with an aching that he’d never known. It was Thor’s.

“Why did you bring me these gifts?” Loki pulled Thor’s face to his, resting their foreheads together.

Thor reached up and grabbed the back of his neck, holding him gently. “I knew no other way to get your attention when you didn’t want to see me.”

Loki let himself smile at that, then pressed a kiss to Thor’s lips. Thor gasped and pulled back to look at him, to see him, to feel his emotions and read his thoughts.

“You don’t have to worry, Thor, my desire for you is my own. It has been since the beginning.” Loki pressed a kiss to Thor’s chin, but Thor would not tilt his head to meet Loki’s lips.

“You don’t have to do this for me, Loki.” Thor’s voice was quiet as he spoke, his body becoming tense.

Loki rubbed his scalp and pressed more kisses to his jaw. “You remember the glen? The look I gave you? The form you make for yourself is very beautiful, and I admit that in the beginning I sought to use your desire as a means of control, but I don’t think that’s necessary now. Is it?”

Thor shook his head, eyes slipping shut as Loki kept massaging his head. “But when we tried… I thought…”

Loki frowned and stopped, waiting until Thor’s eyes opened to speak. “Thought what?”

“That you didn’t actually want it, that you were giving it to me because you thought you needed to.” Thor wouldn’t meet his eyes, but even still the guilt was plainly visible in the crease of his brow and the frown on his lips.

Loki pressed himself close to Thor and wrapped his arms around those broad shoulders. “I could feel the connection completing, that was why I stopped. I did want you, and I still do. How good you are to wait for me like this. Do I have you?”

Thor hummed and finally looked him in the eye. “You have me.”

They kissed and Thor touched him finally, his hulking body beginning to relax. His hands found Loki's waist and held him with the barest pressure. Whispers filled his mind and lights burst behind his eyes. Thor's desire was laid bare to him. No tricks, no lies. There was no agenda for Thor, he just wanted Loki. Such strange decadence like honey dripping from a hive, a sweetness for which was Loki developing a taste.

Loki felt Thor's power now as well, better and stronger than before. He pulled Thor flush to his body and set about consuming this glorious creature that bound them. His hunger was met equally, Thor’s grip turning tight as needy sounds spilled from him.

They made their way to the bed, neither breaking their kiss or pulling apart. Clothing disappeared with quick magic and as much as Loki wanted to feel Thor open him, he couldn’t summon the patience for it. His body was slick and open with a thought. Thor lifted him up and set him down gently, the kiss finally breaking as they settled on the mattress.

The oil lamps were extinguished, just as before, but the sight this time was new. Loki held his breath and reached out, his hands hovering over the edges of Thor’s physical form. There was a crown of lighting floating above his head, revealed by the darkness. It twisted and writhed, the power aching to be unleashed. Thor groaned when Loki’s fingers passed over it. The electricity felt sticky, reaching out after him as he pulled his hand away, not wanting to let him go. Desperation. Loki spared a moment to sift through Thor’s memories and experience the taste of himself that first night. Oh.

Loki laughed and grabbed onto the crown above Thor’s head, yanking it and pulling Thor’s head back to expose his throat. “Why did you never tell me how good I tasted to you?”

Thor’s eyelids fluttered, and his lips pulled back in a grin. “I can tell you now if you like.”

“I can see the memory perfectly well myself.” Loki said, delighting in the way the crown wouldn’t yield to his touch. It dug into his skin as tendrils of electricity reached out and clung to him, each one a hand grabbing on.

“Then you know what I’ll do to get more.” Thor’s voice was deep and breaking into multiples, his skin fading away with each syllable.

Loki let go of Thor’s crown and wrapped his legs around Thor’s hips. Everything human was falling away, and Loki was seeing the beast that had ripped off a piece of his soul. Thor’s true face didn’t resemble a man at all. Just lightning wrapping around clouds, twisting and shifting in every color that existed.

He was as beautiful like this was he was when he wore conjured skin.

Thor grabbed his arms and it felt like fingers were entwined with his own, holding him gently. His legs were caressed from hip to ankle in an unending touch that betrayed more than simple need or want. There was love growing deep inside Thor, a love for Loki, for their bond, for the future they would build together. Loki moaned as Thor entered him. Each touch was seeking, curious, learning him from the inside.

Loki closed his eyes and focused on the way Thor was surrounding him. Two arms reached under him and lifted him from the bed, holding him aloft as the rhythm of Thor’s thrusts picked up. Thor still held his hands, but another touch was sliding up into his hair to cradle his head.

A soft laugh bubbled up from Loki’s chest. “Worship me, Thor.”

Thunder rumbled outside, a moan. Thor grabbed his cock and stroked him quickly while warmth wrapped around his balls and teased him there. Loki had never felt something so good before. Not even when he created spells to fuck himself and please himself with an illusion wearing his own face, convinced that he would be the only person who could ever love him, that his love for himself would be his only weapon to survive in life.

Not now. Not anymore.

Each thrust into his body was angled up, rubbing right where he was most sensitive. Thor felt his pleasure, felt the throbbing of his cock and the pressure building inside him and wouldn’t let up. Loki’s toes curled and his mouth fell open as he moaned. Lightning rushed into his open mouth, Thor kissing him and sucking his tongue. There was no part of Loki that Thor couldn’t touch and lavish in attention. Every inch of him was cradled in power. Loki knew now what it was to be fucked by a god. This was all he should ever be given in life.

Thor swelled inside him and tightened the hold on his cock at the same time. Loki keened into Thor’s kiss, spine bowing as he rolled his hips to get more. A laugh filled the air, echoed by more rolling thunder and a gentle rain. He fucked himself back into every thrust and cast his pride away as he chased the heat building under his skin.

Thor’s grip on his cock turned wet, the feeling of a hand replaced by the unmistakable warmth of a willing mouth, then Thor sucked on him and Loki gave himself over with a harsh cry. He sobbed and sighed as Thor drank his cum and fucked him through his orgasm.

After a moment Thor’s true form retreated, and Loki found himself wrapped in only two arms, with Thor’s softening cock slipping free of him.

Loki opened his eyes and looked at Thor’s crown. Fucked by a god and a prince, leaking cum and perfectly ravished. Thor kissed him again, much gentler than he had before.

They broke apart when Loki needed to breathe, but Thor’s lips rested against his. “I need to feel you.”

Loki laughed, because he truly couldn’t imagine what more Thor could have of him. “How?”

Thor pulled back just enough for Loki to see his eyes turn white, then Loki’s vision whited out. He was reminded of the glen, of the searing pain, but nothing of the sort came this time. Instead, his vision blinked back in an instant and he knew at once where Thor was. Loki rolled out of bed and wandered over to his washing basin. The mirror above showed his reflection with a floating crown, his scars flickering with white light. They were one.


	4. Return

Peggy looked at them in awe. She circled them, reaching out to touch them with magic that tried to learn them from the inside. Thor allowed it, but only because Loki wanted to know anything she learned. 

“This is impossible.” She said, echoing a statement she’d made nearly a dozen times since Loki walked into her apartment. 

Steve and Bucky stood off to the side, observing. Loki couldn’t believe how much of the world he hadn’t seen properly before. The spirits he’d come to know looked so different now. Fire poured out of Steve’s eyes, his skin alight from within much like Thor’s. Loki could also see that he didn’t simply command one element, Steve could control the winds as well. All around him his power swirled and shifted, his mood visible by the twisting of the air. Next to him Bucky’s form flowed like a current, his movements soft and swift. The wound at his left shoulder was still open, bleeding, leaking power everywhere. That was probably why they’d bound themselves to Peggy. So that she could find a spell to heal the gaping hole that drained him incessantly. 

“Who made your bond?” Peggy asked.

Thor answered, “I did,” before realizing they spoke with one mouth and corrected, “Thor did.”

“How did you make it?” Peggy crossed her arms and stared at Loki’s scars. 

“I ripped off a piece of his soul, then a matching piece of my own, and spliced our spirits together. We are one.” Thor lifted their left hand and wiggled their fingers. 

Her mouth fell open, and Steve and Bucky’s heads whipped to the side as they looked at each other. 

Steve looked back first, approaching them with careful steps. “You mated with him?”

Loki tilted their head. “What do you mean?”

“That’s how spirits mate. We rip off pieces of ourselves and combine our power. The bond is permanent that way.” Steve studied them, the fire in his eyes burning in different directions, changing colors as he tilted his head. “I didn’t think a human could survive it.”

Bucky cleared his throat. “What if he’s not human?”

Peggy didn’t appear shocked, so she must have suspected. Loki thought about it, considered it, considered his mastery of magics so far outside normal human reach, considered his father’s seething hatred, his brother, his entire life. Abomination, they called him. 

Lightning slashed out from their body and struck at the ceiling, but in this state Loki couldn’t tell whose rage had created it.

“Did you know your mother, Loki?” Peggy asked, voice soft, calm in a way he’d never heard. 

Loki shook his head. The only woman he’d thought of as a mother was a nurse his father executed. He could still hear her screams sometimes. 

Bucky walked up to them and grabbed Loki’s jaw with the power he channeled out of his left shoulder. “Thor, let me in, I need to see something.”

Thor relaxed in Loki’s skin, allowing a gentle chill to settle in where Bucky touched them. Loki felt ice in his veins. It should have cut, should have hurt, but he welcomed it. There was something so soothing about the cold; always had been for him. Winter was his favorite season, when the snows came and covered everything, made the world new. More than once he’d lost himself in the forests once their branches were bare. 

After a moment Bucky let go and backed away. “Fuck. I know what you are.”

“What?” Loki asked.

“You’re curseborn.” Bucky said, slowly turning to face Peggy and Steve.

Thor filled him again, pouring his spirit into every space Loki didn’t already occupy in their shared body. His power surged and Loki knew only one word.  _ Mine. _

Peggy swallowed roughly. “You’re planning to go back to your birth guild, aren’t you?”

Loki nodded. “There’s something I have to do.”

“I understand.” She set a hand on their shoulder, a whispered protection spell blooming at the touch. “I’m sure he deserves what the Fates give him.”

Loki smiled at her, and Thor’s light filled his eyes. “More than you know.”

♦

His room in the guild would be waiting for him whenever he wanted to come back to it, Peggy had promised. Since they would both live basically forever, he was going to hold her to that. Thor left his skin to take physical form with an unusual amount of complaining. 

“If we’re joined we could be there in a moment, I can take us.” Thor walked up the mountain beside him, his feet and torso bare. 

“We could be there in a moment if you used your ax as well,” he held up his hand as Thor made to summon it, “but I want to take my time. This has to be perfect. You know that.”

Now Thor knew everything. He’d lived in Loki’s skin, become part of his soul. There was nothing in Loki that Thor hadn’t touched, loved, and cherished. Curseborn was feeling like a misnomer. 

A child born from the blood of a slaughtered nature spirit mixing with the blood of whoever killed them. 

Deep magics had protected him his entire life. Legend of retribution for the one who killed a thing like him. Eternity of suffering beyond death, pain unimaginable, your soul being cleaved to pieces and eaten by vengeful spirits. How much worse the punishment should be for one who tortured a child born like him. Curseborn were meant to offer redemption to humans who caused such great offense. Laufey had squandered that chance, and now Loki would see him properly punished for it.

Thor didn’t know who Loki’s spirit parent was, but he knew how readily the Earth and her attendants would avenge the suffering paid on one of their own. Loki would have to endeavor to meet more of his kind. If such a thing were even possible. There had to be others. Bucky knew a word for what he was, so he wasn’t the first and surely not the last. Maybe the book Thor had found for him would have the answer.

It felt as though finally his life was falling into place. He knew his reason for being alive, the reason he kept going when it would have been so easy to just relent, to give in to the fatigue.

All around them the trees shook with heavy winds. Loki took a breath and calmed himself, and with the slowing of his heart the winds died down. Thor smiled at him, so warm and proud, skin bursting and blooming with light and color. The more Loki saw those lights, the more he was learning the language that governed them.

A brutal, perfect love was spelled out in flashes that were centered around Thor’s heart. 

His crown was visible even now in the daylight since Loki didn’t shun their connection anymore, couldn’t even consider it. This bond Thor had forged had opened his eyes in a way he never thought possible. So much magic was ready to be plucked from the world to dance across his fingertips. Even in the mundane, things he never before considered, such as the flowers blanketing the forest floor, a myriad of colors so rich they bled into the air. Loki reached out to them using Thor’s power and felt their spirits yield. He gasped, then did it again, drawing their blooming faces toward him in a wave. Whispers rose from the ground. Thor watched him, curious and impressed.

Loki needed to take the guild from his father and begin exploring this power. Before he could even begin finding more of his own people, he needed to know what he could do.

They continued hiking along the trails, Loki at ease and relaxed. There were so many ways he could make the guild suffer. His brother would be the first he’d punish and his father the last. Anyone else who dared cross him on his way between those two could join them.

Sunlight peeked through the canopy above and danced across his skin. Loki normally wore heavier robes, a habit he’d picked up to try and protect himself, but since he’d joined Shield he’d let himself dress down. There was something comforting about seeing his scars when he wore his favorite sleeveless green tunic. The scar on his shoulder had grown just like the others. It spread across his chest in winding paths, the ends of some tendrils touching others from the scars that crept down his jaw. He wondered if one day the scars would consume every inch of his skin until none could ever mistake him for a mere human again.

Thor had said they were equals, after all. It would be fitting if they should look it as well.

“How do you want to kill them?” Thor asked.

Loki stopped and pursed his lips. It was a good question.

“There are so many options, I'm not sure. I don't even know how many I'll have to kill. My brother and father, of course, but I don't know who else will reject my leadership. It may take months to purge the guild,” Loki said, a slight frown pulling at his lips.

Thor smiled, light flashing in and around his eyes. Loki could feel the pride, the anticipation and excitement that lived in him. He was ready.

Loki looked to the North and took a deep breath. They were both ready. Even if they walked the entire distance, Loki wouldn't have any particular plan. Sometimes chaos was the best plan. Let whatever happen and pick up the pieces afterward. He answered Thor's smile in kind and opened himself.

There was no hesitation as Thor filled and possessed him. One second they were on the mountain path, the next they stood as one body in the center of the guild village.

Nothing had changed in all the months since he'd left. Not one shingle was out of place nor a stone in the village square. Even the rats were the same. Loki sneered and began moving. Gasps surrounded him, people running indoors and slamming their doors shut. How did he look, he wondered. Could they tell he was more now? Did they know what was coming?

Above them a storm gathered, the clouds growing thick and heavy with murmured song that Loki had never heard before. He stopped and looked up as the rain began. Each drop called to them, whispered and chanted love and adoration. The world was so alive.

The door to the guild hall slammed shut and locked, the warding network active in an instant. Loki could see the way the magic shifted and twisted. These were spells he’d written that had been stolen by his father, modified in ugly ways. Thor growled and lightning reached out from the sky, two great arms whose hands ripped the spells apart. Loki walked slowly and lifted his arms as the rains fell harder. He was soaked, the water hugging his form to cleanse and protect him. Nature was embracing him, cradling him, lifting him up to be something more.

Loki opened the doors with magic and laughed when curses flew at him, all struck down and destroyed by Thor’s power. He took easy steps inside, wind whipping past him to put out the torches.

Laufey was nowhere to be seen. Typical.

One of the apprentices cowered off to the side. Loki had always felt neutral toward her, which was as close to liking any of them as he could manage. She was quiet and she never inconvenienced him.

“Where is Helbindi?” He asked her, Thor’s voice bleeding through so that his words were echoed within themselves.

She swallowed hard and as Loki looked at her he could see sparks of electricity in her body, flowing through her. Interesting.

“He’s by the river, Loki,” she answered.

Loki knew where, so Thor took them. The world shifted, grabbed them, moved them. With a thought they had been moved. Helbindi was gathering herbs by the river, ripping them out of the ground with no regard for the spirits who supplied them.

A gust of wind pushed him hard, sending him head-first into the nearest tree. Loki laughed, and Helbindi scrambled to his feet, turning to look at him with disdain that shifted. His eyes went wide and his face slack. Sweet terror, a look Loki had given plenty but never before inspired, especially not from his brother.

Loki took a step forward, viciously pleased when Helbindi bolted into a run. Thor pulled lightning from the sky, striking each path Helbindi took, toying with him and caging him in. He was forced back to the small clearing where they’d found him.

He readied a spell, and Loki let him. Helbindi froze the rain to shards of ice and directed them at Loki, shredding his skin and cutting him open. Each cut healed before it could bleed, Thor soothing the broken tissue and making Loki whole again.

The ground beneath them was muddy, and Loki found he could hear the spirits under their feet calling, begging to be allowed to help. He lifted his left hand and watched as it was swallowed in gold in an instant when he commanded those spirits. Helbindi was dragged down into the Earth, the mud trapping him up to the waist, his arms pulled down by spirits greedy for revenge. His screams were drowned out by the thunder above.

Loki summoned his favored dagger and walked to his brother to kneel before him. Helbindi’s eyes went wide, and for once he had nothing to say.

A sharp grin cut Loki’s lips. “Say hello to your mother for me when you find her in hell, will you?”

The blade cut so neatly through Helbindi’s neck, blood pouring in thick spurts from his body, so hot it steamed in the chill of the storm. When his heart stopped Loki let the spirits take him. Laufey’s blood had destroyed something sacred to birth Loki, it was fitting that it should feed that same Earth to repay the insult.

Thor expanded in his skin, viciously triumphant, his spirit howling with the winds that whipped around Loki and embraced him. Loki’s smile softened as Thor celebrated his victories. He turned back toward the guild hall and let Thor take them back.

Laufey was there, drawn out by news that Loki had been looking for his son.

Loki stood still and looked at his father, the one responsible for his existence. There was a shadow surrounding him, clinging to him, a miasma that reeked and permeated the air in the hall. How had Thor withstood it that first night?

Curses lit Laufey’s hands with fire, and Loki smiled.

“Where is my son?” Laufey barked.

Electricity flowed through his body, and when Loki looked he could see it in all of them; every twitch, every thought lit them up. Loki knew at once how he’d kill Laufey. 

“Helbindi has been returned to the Earth,” they replied, both of their voices smooth and calm, dancing and mingling.

The air stilled, as understanding crept into Laufey’s face Loki saw sparks inside his skull, lighting up with rage and pain. Beautiful.

Laufey flung his curses, and Thor wrapped Loki in their shared power. Members of the guild fled, no loyalty for their master, and Loki laughed to see it. Cowards. If they ever returned he would feed them to the forest. 

The curses died off, Laufey panting, sweating, spent. Loki walked up to him and grabbed him by the neck.

Laufey glared at him. “You said I’d never see you again.”

Loki grinned. “I lied.”

He flooded Laufey’s body with his and Thor’s power and watched it split bone and cook the meat within. A hideous smell filled the hall, but the miasma slowly disappeared. The curse had been fulfilled. Loki dropped Laufey’s body and let Thor consume his soul, a bellowing wail echoing in their head as Thor ripped him apart. 

It was done. He was free.

Thor stepped out of Loki’s skin and conjured his own body, standing back-to-back with Loki in the hall. The world faded, the colors dimmed, and Loki was left with his own eyes to see a ghastly stain on the wood at his feet.

He stepped through it to stand in the center of the hall and held his left arm in the air, palm upturned to the ceiling to catch light from the torches.

“You know me, many of you have known me since I was born. I am the master of this guild now. If you don’t like it you can leave, or you can try and take it from me,” he said.

The reply was silence and Thor’s beaming smile. His work could finally begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i'm happy with where i'm leaving this off, i feel like it's a good stopping point. other stories might be written for this 'verse, but as this stands, with this being a story of discovery and connection, i like it and i hope you did too!


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